Ulterior Motives
by ParadoxicalOne
Summary: [GSR] Part 5 ... Sequel to 'Ties That Bind'. A banquet party makes for a plus one date and leads Grissom and Sara to make a revelation.
1. Chapter 1

Ulterior Motives

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_Disclaimer_: You know the drill: It's not mine, I don't own it, I'm just borrowing... _CSI_ belongs to CBS...

* * *

**A/N – **Okay, okay, I admit it. Their dates' names were a little corny (you'll see when you read further). Well, it started innocently with the guy because I really like the name, and then I accidentally typed the girl's name without thinking about it. Anyway, I left it because it was funny... At least to me.

* * *

"Grissom, I'm not going," Sara groaned.

"Sara, if I have to go, I insist that you're going. You can't back out now. Find a date." Grissom shuffled a few papers around on his desk, purposefully avoiding her eyes.

"Damn it, Grissom. I can't believe you're doing this. You didn't even ask me. What if I have plans for Friday?" Her entire face scrunched up into a frown.

Grissom actually felt himself laughing at that. He did not want to embarrass or anger Sara, but he could not remember the last time she had plans that did not include the lab or, recently, him. He looked up at her face and saw that he had brought out a tinge of anger.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to laugh, but you have to admit that statement was a little funny. I don't honestly know if you have plans, but normally your plans only involve work. Well, this is work-related, kind of." He was still trying to wipe the smirk off his face. "Listen, I just really don't want to go without you."

"You know how I hate getting dressed up," Sara whined, throwing herself in a chair.

"But, you look so gorgeous when you get all dressed up." Grissom searched her eyes. He saw she was about to give in. "It's only for a few hours. It'll be good to schmooze with those people for a little while. Then we can return to life as usual."

"Since when are you interested in spending time with those people?" She frowned.

"Since I realized that at some point I might need a favor from them." He sighed. "It makes them think I'm on their team, even if I don't want to be."

"Who's going to be working? We are both on the schedule for Friday."

"That will be left up to the newest people in the lab. We'll be on call in case anything big happens, but they can cover. Anyone who wants to go just had to RSVP and they get the night tentatively off."

"I assume you've already RSVPed for me and put me on on-call status?" she asked with a smile.

"You assume correctly. So, is it settled?"

"I suppose so. It's going to be hard for me to keep my hands off of you in a tux, but I suppose I'll manage." She winked seductively at him.

"Great. Tell your date that he's expected to pick you up at your apartment at six-thirty to be there at seven. And, before you ask, you can put your kit in my car just in the event you're called out." He added the last part hastily, knowing that Sara would be thinking of work above anything else.

* * *

Catherine eyed Sara quizzically for a few minutes across the table. "Sara, you're really at this thing without being drugged or coerced?"

Sara fidgeted absentmindedly with the small rhinestone brooch attached to the dip in the neckline of the dress. Her eyes wandered over the crowded room. She stood from the table, running her hands down the front of her dark red satin dress. Sara had mused with herself when she bought it that it looked like blood red. It was not the thing you tell the sales clerk, Sara had decided.

The color and style had called her when she walked into the store. It was perfect in every way, not needing to be altered in the least. The hem stopped at the top of her feet. In truth, Sara had been happy to find the dress so quickly, and in only the third store she had been in that day. Shopping and playing dress up were just not her forte.

Her long leg peeking out from the slit in the side that went clear up to her hip, Sara glided around to slip into the chair beside Catherine. The satin halter gown was form-fitting and hugged Sara's curves and slender form perfectly. The deep V-neckline accentuated her long and delicate neck, while the back of the dress was open almost to her waist, showing off her entire back.

"I just thought it might be good for me to schmooze with these people if I'm going to be on their team." Sara stole Grissom's words from their conversation a week earlier.

"You look very nice tonight. And, I'm not the only one that noticed. Practically every man in the room has had their eyes on you," Catherine admitted. The one thing she would not admit was that she was a little envious of Sara herself.

"Thank you," Sara mumbled, looking slightly embarrassed.

Grissom arrived back at the table at that moment. "Networking is only done when you're not hiding at our table, ladies. Would you like to accompany me to make the rounds?"

Sara and Catherine shared amused glances. Neither one really wanted to get up from the table, but it seemed even more odd that Grissom wanted to spend time away from the table. They relented as they stood from the table and stood on each side of Grissom.

Grissom took Catherine's elbow in his hand, while he placed his other hand on the small of Sara's back. He wanted to touch her, and that was the most intimate touching he could allow himself in public around his peers. Her bare skin on his hand ignited his desire to wrap her in his arms. Likewise, Sara's back burned with an aching hunger where his hand was pressed onto her skin.

"What about Billy? I can't just leave him alone," Sara stated, looking around the room in mock-worry for her date.

"He's with the guys. They're taking care of him," Grissom answered, indicating across the room with a nod of his head.

Indeed, Nick and Warrick were taking care of him. The three of them were on the other side of the room laughing and seemingly making fun of the other guests. No doubt, the guys were sharing stories trying to put the man at ease.

"He's not bad for a plus-one," Catherine whispered to Sara at one point whilst walking around the room.

"A what?" Sara replied a little too loudly, drawing a strange glance from Grissom and a few other people milling around.

"Billy. He's your plus-one. You know, the guy you call when you need a date," Catherine explained with a roll of her eyes.

"I didn't _need_ a date, and I don't hear you criticizing Nick's date." Sara looked pointedly at her.

In Sara's haste to get Catherine off of her personal life, she had neglected to say that Billy was more than a plus-one. This simple omission was not lost on Catherine.

"So… where's the real boyfriend? Why won't you let us meet him?"

"Catherine, I'm not having this conversation with you," Sara whispered loudly.

"Ladies," Grissom's hushed voice interrupted, "Could you carry on this conversation in the bathroom or elsewhere rather than behind my back. I can hear everything you're saying."

Catherine shot an accusing look at Sara, who just mouthed 'I told you so.' at her. She wished Sara would relent because that would end the incessant questioning. Grissom pulled them apart and continued making small talk as they made their way around the room.

They stopped briefly beside the guys to remind them it was almost time to take their seats. Then, Grissom led Catherine and Sara back to their table and held their seats out for them. Nick, Warrick, and Billy followed closely behind while Nick was looking for his date.

They sat down at the table casually, but almost as if they were assigned to seats. The unspoken arrangement was Grissom, Sara, Billy, Jorja (Nick's date), Nick, Warrick, and Catherine around the round table.

Jorja came waltzing up to them, making far too much eye contact with Billy. Sara and Nick exchanged odd glances and both hid their small smirks. Their dates had seemingly hit it off. Sara broke the eye contact and was about to ask Grissom something just to break the silence at the table. He turned to her at exactly the same time to ask her if she wanted a drink, and they almost bumped heads.

Each individual at the table shared a look, but there was none of the usual tension between Grissom and Sara in their near brush. They just looked at each other, smiled, and turned away. That simple act brought raised eyebrows and even more quizzical looks than if there had been the regular uncomfortable resistance.

The speakers and presentations droned on for what seemed like forever. In reality, it was only an hour and a half that people talked and issued awards and congratulations, but it was ever so boring. Grissom's hand had snuck down to Sara's thigh a few times, only for Sara to swat it away playfully.

During the presentations and the meal, Catherine had leaned a few times behind Grissom to talk to Sara some more about her plus-one date. Grissom had cleared his throat a few times hoping to thwart their conversation, but it had been in vain. One time in particular, it became a little more animated.

Sara was leaned sideways in her chair, her chest nearly pressed up against Grissom. The two women were inches apart behind Grissom's back, whispering loudly to one another.

"Cath, drop it. You're making a big deal out of nothing." The irritation was evident in her voice. Sara just wanted her to let it go.

"You can't say this is nothing. Where's your boyfriend?" Catherine pressed.

Sara wanted nothing more than to tell the woman to shut up because she was the one that accompanied her boyfriend, but that would not have been sensible. She did, however, decide to throw it in there that Catherine had come with him, mentioning him by name. Luckily, Catherine had not caught on to the double meaning in what Sara said.

"You came with Grissom," Sara accused. "I wasn't going to be the only one here dateless."

"Warrick didn't come with anyone. You could've come with him," Catherine countered quickly.

"Could we just drop this?" Sara was getting frustrated. She rolled her eyes and sighed heavily. She could not rationalize why Catherine was being so inquisitive.

"You could've had Grissom. I could've come with Warrick."

Grissom cut in at that. He slid his chair back hastily. Both women anticipated the move and quickly backed away before being bumped by him or his chair. He reprimanded both of them with a flash out of the corner of his eyes, first Sara, and then steelier at Catherine.

His voice deadly serious, he whispered to both of them, "I'm not a piece of meat, and neither is Warrick. I would suggest we start acting like adults and not having conversations about who could've taken which coworker to this ridiculous banquet."

Both women sat up in their chairs like a couple of three year-olds that had been scolded for not playing nice. Sara stole a sideways glance at Grissom, who was successfully hiding his smirk. Catherine only glowered at Grissom for him making them stop talking.


	2. Chapter 2

After the awards and meal, the dancing ensued, along with more mingling. Catherine had grabbed Warrick and led him off to the dance floor. Nick had made his way over to the table with the punch and was making conversation with a young blond from LVPD. Sara leaned over to Billy and started whispering to him. He then took his cue and asked Jorja to dance.

Grissom and Sara found themselves alone. She took her chance to slide her hand along his thigh as he had done earlier. He made no move to stop her, but he watched intently with his eyes. He brought his gaze up to her eyes to see that she was fixedly searching his face.

"Have I told you how wonderful you look tonight?" he asked.

"Mmm. Yes, but I never tire of hearing you say it... You look stunning. I love seeing you in a tux," she cooed.

"Where'd you find this wonderful date of yours?" he inquired with the musings of a smile.

"He's my next door neighbor's son. He brings in groceries for the lady. He calls me sometimes when he can't get over very often and asks me to check on her. So, he owed me a few favors," she explained mechanically.

Their gaze burned into each other. Desire was clearly evident as they stared into the depths of each other's eyes. Grissom glanced at her lips, wanting nothing more than to touch them, caress them, kiss them. Sara squeezed his thigh, consequentially bringing him back to reality and his eyes back up to hers.

"Uh-huh... What was it you told Billy to make him take her to the dance floor? Won't that make Nick a little mad?" He was toying with her.

"Nah. He saw them looking at each other, too. He's already moved on to that newest transfer into LVPD." She gestured towards the other side of the room with her eyes. "Seems if we'd have talked to Catherine we wouldn't have had to make other date arrangements."

"But then Billy wouldn't be having a wonderful time with Jorja. How is that going to work for people to get home?" His hand covered her hand, which was still resting on his thigh.

"I suppose I'll have to bum a ride off of some stranger." She winked playfully at Grissom.

"Would you like to dance?" he found himself asking abruptly.

"Thought you'd never ask." She smiled broadly with a slight blush on her face.

Grissom stood, holding her hand and led her to the dance floor. They stopped at the edge waiting for the next song to begin. Hearing a change in music, Grissom smiled and pulled her onto the dance floor.

He placed his hands on the top of her hips as she placed her hands on the ends of his shoulders. It was incredibly romantic, and neither one thought of what people would be thinking with them holding each other in such a way. Sara rested her head on his shoulder and smiled into his neck.

Grissom recognized the song at once. He smiled as the words started pouring out of the speakers. "Sara Smile" by Boys II Men filled the room, and he hugged her body closer to him. It was amazing how perfectly they fit together.

He placed his lips next to her ear and whispered, "I love your smile."

"Did you plan this?" she whispered back.

"No, but our timing is impeccable... so perfect... just like you."

"I'm partial the Hall & Oates version of the song, but this one is pretty good, too. They did it justice."

"I have that one at home. I used to listen to it, and I'd feel like you were there with me."

They said nothing else as they made there way, dancing in a circle, oblivious to anyone else on the dance floor. When the song began its descent, they both resisted the urge to break contact. Lost on the dance floor, relishing the closeness, they stood holding each other.

Another slow song began, saving them from pulling away. Throwing caution to the wind, Grissom put his arms completely around her waist and intertwined his fingers, pulling her more firmly against him. His hands were resting in the small of her back enjoying the feel of her soft, cool skin. "All Time Love" by Will Young flowed from the speakers this time, wrapping them in a timeless bond.

"Gris?" Her voice was barely a whisper. The song was almost over.

"Hmm?"

"I love you," she breathed against his neck. The silence between them hung in the air thickly. Sara began to panic, her body tensing. "I'm sorry... I know that's probably not the right time... or if there is a right time... or if you even want to hear it..."

"Shhh... I love you, too," he murmured. Hearing his words, Sara completely relaxed against him.

The song completely ended, and the DJ was talking. Neither Sara nor Grissom heard his words as he led her over to the hotel balcony. Thankful they were alone out there, Grissom closed the door for some added privacy.

He pulled her roughly against him and kissed her passionately. Sara returned his kiss with equal enthusiasm and ran her hands through his hair. Finally pulling away, they searched each other's eyes.

Finally able to find words, Sara said, "I am sorry about the timing. I know we agreed we wouldn't do this is public, but I just..."

"I felt it, too. If you hadn't said it... I would have. I really wanted to kiss you out there on the dance floor. I hate having to hide how I feel. And, yet, I don't want anyone to know. Not because I think it's a dirty secret, but because I just like my private life. I don't like people knowingly speculating on what I do in my personal time. And, then, I hate having to hide you because you're the best thing in my life, and I want nothing more than to hold you and make up for all the years I've neglected to... This is all so new for me, Sara."

"It's new for me, too. We know what we have to do for right now. No one can know, and I'm okay with that. I don't like people knowing that much about me either. There's nothing wrong with wanting to hide it for a while. Everything will change once it's in the open. Given time, people will know, and we'll deal with it then."

"That makes me love you even more." He kissed her tenderly. "Let's get back inside before people miss us."

And miss them, some people did. Catherine made a point of watching them dancing, leaving the dance floor, and walking back inside from the balcony. She was a little nervous when Grissom ushered Sara through the door and walked away from her. Sara had just made her way to the table while Grissom went to get a drink.

Nick plopped himself down in Grissom's seat, turning to face her. "Hey, Sar."

"Hey, you." She smiled at him.

"Looks like we got dumped."

"It sure does appear that way. So, is my date taking your date home?"

"I dunno. It's not like he asked my permission," Nick joked.

"Hey, I don't know why you're complaining. You have no lack of fine women by your side. I saw you talking to that blond for a while over there."

"I saw you on the dance floor falling all over Grissom." Nick watched Sara fidget nervously with the napkin on the table.

"I wasn't falling all over him." Sara rushed her explanation, purposefully avoiding Nick's eyes. "He asked me to dance, I danced. That was it."

"That was some dancing, Sara. You were holding on for dear life." He started laughing at her.

"I don't like dancing. Never have... Never will. And it was more awkward dancing with my boss." A blush had crept onto her face.

Nick ignored her protests. He saw the look in her eyes, even if she would not admit it to him. "You coulda asked me to dance."

Happy at the switch in conversation, Sara looked back up at him. She smiled mischievously. "Now, you're flirting with me. No, you were having a fine time with your new friend, and I did my duty. I just need to find a ride to work."

"You're going to work?" Nick looked stunned.

"You're surprised at that? Why, Nick, I thought you knew me better than that. And, besides, people don't stop dying just because the police throw a party. Grissom and I are on call tonight, and Greg's all alone with some other fresh CSIs from the other shifts. I can't ditch him."

"You need a ride?" Nick asked.

"No, but thanks." Sara saw LVPD girl walking up to them. "Looks like you have other priorities to take care of." Sara indicated he look behind him.

Nick turned around, eying the blond approaching. Briefly he turned around to Sara with an apologetic look on his face. "Do you mind if I..."

"Go, have fun. I'll talk to your date for you." She shooed him away with the flick of her wrist.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the room, Catherine walked up to Grissom. She clasped his shoulder tightly, catching him off-guard. He swung around with an arched eyebrow as to who was touching him.

"Gil, what the hell happened?" she demanded.

The arched eyebrow stayed in place. "What are you referring to?"

"You know very well what I'm talking about. You out on the dance floor, and everything was good. Then, you went outside, and you came back in... different." Her accusatory tone conveyed the seriousness with which she was going to approach the subject. "What did you do?"

"Catherine, I'm in no mood to talk about this, but what you saw will never happen again, I assure you." His voice held a note of trepidation mixed with irritation.

"Which part? The dancing, the contentedness, or the apparent lack conscious thought?"

"What?" He squinted his eyes.

"I don't know which one of you hurt the other one, but you need to move on. You two have been killing each other for years." She grabbed his arm. "Come outside with me for a minute." When he hesitated, Catherine commanded, "Now, Gil. This isn't a request."


	3. Chapter 3

He followed her outside. There was a couple outside looking out over the city and enjoying the beauty that people call Vegas. All the glitz and glamour calling for people to stare. Neon lights and signs beckoning from afar to be gazed upon as if it were a painting to be revered rather than a gaudy attraction for tourists.

Once the pair realized they were no longer alone outside, they quickly made their escape back into the crowded ballroom. Catherine took a minute to scrutinize Grissom's form, leaning against the railing, as he also gazed out upon the lights of Vegas.

"It's beautiful in its own right, isn't it? Something we take for granted every day. We walk those streets never seeing what it really has to offer other than the cold feeling of underlying and impending death that only people can bring." His voice was detached.

Catherine ignored his comments. "You two used to be friends. It was a long time ago, I know. It's been years, and now you can't even get near each other. What happened?"

"No offense, Catherine, but it's none of your business," he replied dryly without even turning to glance in her direction.

"You have to face it. You have to acknowledge that something is or at least was there. You can't will it away. This is something you have to deal with. Did something happen in the past between the two of you that you thought would just not affect you? You thought you could just pretend it wasn't there, but given enough time it slowly ate away at each of you?" Her steely gaze was having no effect on his back.

Grissom spun on his heels, his hands clenching and unclenching in a nervous gesture at his sides. "You have no idea what you're talking about. There was nothing between Sara and I before she came to Las Vegas." He willed himself to remain composed and forced his voice to make his statement a cold proclamation.

"But you wanted there to be?" Catherine was relentless.

He peered angrily into her eyes as he sighed deeply. Grissom controlled his voice into a calm monotone. "Just because you thought something was possible doesn't mean you were prepared to make the commitment. A lot of things change only with the passage of time."

"You and your riddles. Why can't you just answer the question?" Her hands flew up in an asking gesture.

"If you were listening, I did," Grissom replied softer.

"You used to smile, and over the past few years, you've become a very bitter old man. What happened to the guy that used to laugh and joke around the lab? You've almost succeeded in killing the hope in us all... No one can ever live up to your standards, can they?" Catherine pressed.

"I've been trying to fix what was lost... You... What are you getting at, Catherine?" He put his hands in his pockets after he was unable to stop the clenching.

"_She's_ not good enough?" It was almost more of a statement than a question when it came out of her mouth. Catherine squinted at him as if that would make her see his answer more clearly.

"You have no idea what you're talking about!" he shouted at her. He lost his self-control as Catherine was getting too pushy. She was goading him into saying things he did not want to admit to her.

"Whoa!" Catherine took a step backwards from him. Her eyes widened in shock. "Look at yourself. Is this the person you want to be?"

He took a breath to calm himself. "It was never about Sara... It was about me." He looked down at his feet for a moment. "Listen, I know you're trying to be a friend, and I appreciate that, but I'm just not ready to walk down this road with you. I've done a lot in my past that I'm not proud of, and I'm still dealing with it myself."

"That was a revelation," she mocked him rather bluntly.

He looked up earnestly into her eyes. "Don't push it. I said I'm working on the issues, and in time I think you'll see a difference. I have never made a change overnight, and I will not start now."

His phone rang with a text message, interrupting their exchange. Grissom pulled the phone out of his pocket and examined it. A smile played on his lips.

"Work?" Catherine asked.

"No. Personal." He held up the display for her to read when she raised an eyebrow.

_What is Cath yelling at you about? –S_

"Yeah, that's personal," she replied with a gin of her own. "Are you going to reply?"

"She and I are fine, Catherine, no matter what people think." He punched buttons on the phone replying to Sara. "Work. A Case," he said, indicating that was his response, but actually he typed: _Life advice about us._

The phone chirped again a few moments later. _Inside, please. Save me. I'm alone and getting harassed._ He showed it to Catherine.

Catherine allowed a small smile to grace her lips for a moment. She regarded the man in front of her suspiciously. Maybe he really was trying to make amends for what had been happening over the past few years. It was at least a step in the right direction if they were talking.

"After you," Grissom said, raising an arm to usher her towards the door back into the ballroom.

Together, they walked back into the room and directly over to Sara. Ecklie, Sofia, and Vartann were crowding her space. The conversation ground to a halt when they reached the table. Grissom greeted everyone with a tight nod as he slipped into the chair next to Sara. Catherine offered a clipped hello and stood off to Grissom's side.

Uncomfortable small talk ensued between them until Ecklie and Sofia made their way one way and Vartann escaped the other direction. Grissom put his hand on Sara's arm and smiled.

"Thank you," Sara sighed. "I think I was going to become a crime scene in here tonight." She looked at both of them sincerely, offering a slightly embarrassed smile, but her eyes lingered on Grissom for a few extra seconds.

He removed his hand, looking around the room. "Where's your, um... date?"

"I sent him away with Jorja. The constant flirting was getting on my serves," Sara told them matter-of-factly.

"And Nick is...?" he asked next, looking back at her.

"I sent him away with that LVPD chick," she replied, devoid of emotion

"And Warrick?" Catherine asked. She was almost nervous to find out since Sara seemed to be pairing people up and shooing them away.

"That I can't tell you," she replied with a shrug.

"Would you mind if I went to—" Catherine started.

"We'll be fine, Cath. Go," Grissom interrupted, never taking his eyes off of Sara.

Without any hesitation, Catherine turned from the table, walking away. "Okay. I'll get another ride. Don't wait around for me," she said over her shoulder.

Sara watched the blond leave. When she was far enough away, Sara ventured, "You don't think—"

"No. I try not to," he interrupted. Grissom had never been one to get in the middle of anyone else's personal lives. What they did on their own time was none of his business. If he got involved in theirs, he knew that they would also get involved in his, and that was not something he was willing to let happen.

"Well, people in our line of work are naturally attracted to each other." Sara smiled and turned to Grissom.

Grissom tipped his head and winked. "You ready to go to work?"

"Yeah. Definitely. I need to get out of here," she replied emphatically.

Grissom led her out of the room and to his car, the entire time resting his hand on the small of her back. His hand rubbed along her delicate skin, relishing in the feel of it. His fingers gently played with the edge of the fabric. It was a gesture so small and yet so large. They felt like a couple of teenagers out on their first date.

They walked to the car, and Grissom held her door open for her. She smiled shyly as he held her hand as she slid into her seat. He leaned in to kiss her gently on the lips. The moment was charged with electricity, and neither wanted it to end. However, to all good things there is an end. Grissom reluctantly pulled away.

He snapped her door gently shut and walked around to his side. There was a slight spring in his step as he rounded the car. He felt as if ten years had been stripped from his age. He was happy and with the woman he loved. If the night had not involved going to work, Grissom could only have been happier.

* * *

"Oh... Wow, Sara. You... You look hot," Greg sputtered as Sara entered the lab. His jaw was hanging open. Seeing Grissom walking in behind her was the only thing that made him close his mouth.

"Um, thanks, Greggo," Sara replied flatly. She grimaced to herself that Greg could not come up with something better than a comment like that. She passed by him, leaving Grissom and Greg standing together just inside the main door.

"Greg, do we have work to do tonight?" Grissom asked in feigned pleasantness when Greg was still staring at Sara walking down the hall. After no response, Grissom tried again, "Greg?" Mild irritation had crept into his voice. "This is a crime lab, not a dating service. So, do we have a case tonight or not?"

"Huh?" he squeaked, finally spinning around to face Grissom after Sara disappeared around the corner. Seeing the displeased look on Grissom's face accented with a raised eyebrow, Greg replied, "Oh, uh, there was a B&E earlier, but someone's already working on it."

"And, why is it that we're having a conversation out here by the door? Shouldn't you be working on something?"

"I... I was heading out to my car to pick something up..." Greg glanced back down the hall where Sara had disappeared, mildly contemplating what it was he had been going to get from his car. "Sara really looks nice tonight, doesn't she?"

"Yes, she does." Grissom took a moment to scrutinize the young CSI as if he was a crime scene needing to be interpreted. He decided that Greg was in for a rude awakening if he thought he was going to get in Sara's good graces if he talked like that. Greg was almost worse at talking to Sara than he was. "Now, don't let me hold you up from getting _whatever_ from your car." Grissom brushed past Greg finding the way to his office.

Greg was left standing in the hallway still wondering just what it was he had been doing. He shook his head to clear the haze that took over his vision and walked numbly outside to get a much-needed breath of cool night air.


	4. Chapter 4

"Yes!" Sara cried out as she bounded into Grissom's office, breaking through the silence encompassing the room.

"Dead body?" Grissom inquired at her overly cheery attitude.

"Nope," she replied with a huge grin. She stood expectantly in front of his desk silently asking him to continue guessing.

Grissom was willing to play along with her guessing game. He tilted back in his chair and removed his glasses. That smile on her face was enough to drive him insane. "Road trip?"

"Uh-uh." Sara shook her head slightly, still smiling.

"Cracked a case?" He tilted his head quizzically.

"Almost!" she squealed, thrusting a paper towards Grissom. "I got the results from the substance on the vic's head. Think we could go back over to the crime scene?"

Grissom glanced at the paper briefly. "You don't need my permission to go back over to the scene. If you want to go, go."

"I was thinking you might like to ride with me," she hinted with a wink.

"I've got a lot of paperwork to do. I should stay here and take care of some of it while I can. Take Greg. He needs to get out more." Grissom knew he needed the distraction of his work to keep his hands off of Sara. After the confession on the dance floor, holding her and reaffirming his love was all he could think of. There would be time after shift for him to take care of that, as long as he could remain focused for the time he was in the lab.

"Ugh. Fine," she feigned annoyance, "I'll take Greg. Great. Alone time with _Greg_."

Grissom merely chuckled as he sat back upright in his chair and looked back at the papers in front of him. He did not want the young CSI to get the idea he could make passes at Sara and get away with it. Likewise, he also knew that he could not make a point at keeping every male away from her if they were to keep their relationship a secret for any length of time.

Sara scoffed at his pained indifference. She knew what he was thinking without him even putting it into words. It was their silent understanding that had long ago partially driven them together. Never had there been a bond stronger than one they could say without words. She would be stronger than she wanted to be and go with Greg. Sara would bide her time until they could be alone.

"Gris, he told me I look 'hot' tonight." She wrinkled her nose in true disgust. Sara was not used to taking compliments easily, and it had been a lame one at that.

"Well... you do," Grissom stated matter-of-factly, never glancing up at her. The smirk on his face grew in spite of his attempt to disguise it. He knew that looking up into her eyes would cause him to rethink his decision.

"I'll see you in a little bit."

As she walked out of his office, Grissom took the chance to look at her. She sauntered purposefully out and around the corner. The sway in her hips was firmly planted in his brain as thoughts of his hands on those hips danced in his mind. Her exposed back beckoned him to follow her. He wanted just one more touch of her bare skin, but he knew that could be his downfall.

A few minutes later and against his better judgment, Grissom strode from his office and straight out the main door of the CSI building. Glancing around the parking lot, he spied Sara and Greg walking towards one of the CSI Tahoes. Grissom picked up his pace to get to them before they reached the SUV.

Grissom fell into step beside Sara as his hand again claimed the small of her back as his own. Timidly, Sara turned her head to look at him. Grissom's thumb stroked the skin of her back in a circular fashion. Briefest of movement that it was, it still sent shivers through her body.

A slight chill in the evening air surrounded them. For the first time since they had left the party, Grissom felt the cool air. He knew he had been too enamored with Sara and their dances and their declaration of love for him to have felt anything once they left the hotel. Seeing his chance to use this as a ruse for why he had actually followed them out, Grissom shrugged off his jacket once they reached the SUV.

Greg appeared oblivious to them since he was overjoyed at getting the chance to drive this time. Sara had handed him the keys willingly, stating that there was no way she could drive in her dress. For a split second she had considered changing into a pair of coveralls, but just as quickly opted against it. The mere idea of slipping her practically naked body into a previously used, albeit sanitized, garment was appalling.

The gown, being cut the way it was and form-fitting, had only allowed Sara to wear a pair of bikini underwear. She had only ever worn those coveralls over top of her own clothing, save one other instance when she was forced into a hazmat shower with Greg. Just thinking back to that was enough to make her stomach churn. This would not be another of those instances. She silently cursed herself for not replacing her spare clothing in her locker after her last decomp case.

Greg hopped into the driver's seat and turned the engine over. He flipped through the radio stations looking for something suitable to play, claiming the vehicle as his own for the evening. The louder the better. It was not often he had this chance, and he chose not to ignore it. Since he had left the confines of the lab, Greg had not had the opportunity to listen to much music while he was at work.

Grissom held up his jacket for Sara to slip her arms in. She smiled shyly at the offering, and did as he requested. She thanked him with her eyes, reveling in the warmth it gave her. His jacket would serve as his surrogate arms until she could get back to the lab and finish off her shift.

Making every attempt to not gawk as her leg fell precariously through the slit in the side of the dress, Grissom ushered her into the seat of the Tahoe as elegantly as he could. His eyes roamed her body one last time while making sure Greg was still preoccupied with adjusting the SUV to his liking, paying no attention to his coworkers. Grissom clicked the door shut once Greg turned his attention to them.

* * *

Grissom watched as Sara ambled into his office, not stopping in the doorway, as was her usual pattern. This time he allowed his gaze to linger on her body as she placed herself in one of the visitor's chairs in front of his desk. When he finally brought his eyes up to her face, he met her gaze with an equal hunger.

She had been gone for quite a few hours. He had used the time wisely, getting a lot of paperwork done. At the end of the shift, Grissom wanted to head directly home, just as he knew Sara did.

The smile on her face pronounced her victory at the crime scene before she even acknowledged it in words. "Matched the substance to the murder weapon. Death by candle. Boyfriend's prints are all over it."

"Candle?" he asked incredulously.

"Oh, yes. Only not a candlestick like in Clue. Rather, it was one of those ones in the jar. That's how she got the lacerations on her scalp. The trace amount of wax in her hair is what tipped me off. I found it in the trash outside. Blood all over it."

"How does that prove he did it? Couldn't his prints have gotten on it just by being in the house? Candles, if used for a romantic occasion, could've been touched by either or both of them," he countered, inquiringly, with a slight tilt of his head.

"It could, but not the print in blood that I got off of the side of the thing. He probably never saw it or thought about it since the candle was red as well. The wax held the jar together, while only the bottom got smashed in. That also explains the little flecks of glass we found on her," she explained.

"Nice work," Grissom congratulated her.

"Thanks," she beamed at him. "I'm just glad we got there when we did. Today is apparently trash day for her street. I bet he was planning on the evidence just being hauled away."

"We've both accomplished a lot in this one night. Shift's almost over..." he hinted.

"Think we could slip out unnoticed?" Sara asked, finishing his thought.

"I believe we can give it our best shot. Come on," he replied, getting up from his desk.


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning, the entire team was sitting around the table in the conference room. This shift had begun before it was scheduled, and likewise, it had run over as well. They had shared one case all night, making their best attempt to piece it all together. This meeting was serving to tie up just the last few loose ends before everyone went home for the day.

Catherine looked at the rest of them. She shook her head slightly. "Looks like we've got the husband nailed. Guess he didn't like playing second string to her old flame."

"Who would?" Warrick asked her sadly, obviously hinting at more than the case. His marriage was weighing on him heavily. Tina detested the all the extra time he put in at the lab, just as she hated him talking about his colleagues. Catherine had been there the night before to help him through the latest rough patch. She was not about to let him give up on himself or his marriage easily. There may have been a time she wanted more, but she truly only ever wanted to see Warrick happy.

Greg stared down at the table. "So, he was jealous of the other guy. Kinda figures. He just took it too far."

Grissom tilted his head as he quoted, "_Jealousy lives upon doubts. It becomes madness or ceases entirely as soon as we pass from doubt to certainty_. François de la Rochefoucauld. He doubted she truly loved him and he fell prey to the madness."

Nick scoffed, "What was there to be jealous of? That other guy wasn't an old flame. He told us that they were nothing more than friends. What did the husband get out of killing her anyway? She's dead. She certainly can't love him now."

Sara took her chance to throw in a quote of her own. "_Jealousy, that dragon which slays love under the pretence of keeping it alive_. Havelock Ellis. Afraid to lose the love, he killed her. By doing so, he believed the love they shared would be eternal." She grunted disapprovingly and sarcastically added, "Their love would live on happily ever after."

"Like a fairy tale? 'Happily ever after?' Only, she's dead?" Nick asked. "You've never struck me as the type to believe in a fairy tale romance, Sara." He eyed her skeptically.

"There is no such thing," Sara replied cynically. A tilt of her chin gave her an air of defiance. "Happiness and love are entirely subjective. They're different to each and every person. Love is only what you perceive it to be at any given moment in your life. It changes as you go... as you change."

Grissom observed her from across the table as his eyes narrowed in disbelief. Sara caught the look and quickly glanced away. He looked hurt and uncertain at her comments, and Sara was unable to hold the contact. She knew her true emotions would betray her at any given moment.

"So, you're saying...?" Catherine asked quizzically. Her eyebrows rose involuntarily as she stole a glance at both Grissom and Sara.

"You believe what you need to believe to get yourself through each day of your life... be it love... or the denouncement of such. You see what you want to make yourself feel your needs are fulfilled at a certain point in your life." Sara merely shrugged her shoulders nervously as she shifted around in her seat.

The entire room fell utterly silent.

* * *

Grissom walked dejectedly into his apartment. Sighing loudly, he dropped his briefcase and keys on the coffee table. He kicked his shoes off and dropped onto the couch. He closed his eyes tightly trying to shut out the light.

He mind clouded of images of how much life had changed from one day to the next. He had professed his love to Sara, and approximately thirty-four hours later he was contemplating the harsh reality of being crushed. Grissom was barely able to rationalize the feelings he was having. Was this the way Sara felt each time he had made some off-handed comment to her? Did he deserve what she said?

A loud noise startled Grissom from his thoughts. He sprung up to a sitting position on the couch, squinting towards the kitchen. She stood over the counter stirring some concoction in a mixing bowl. Intent on putting more ingredients into the bowl, Sara never even acknowledged Grissom's presence.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, startled, with a hint of anger in his voice. He had been so preoccupied with his thoughts that he had not even noticed her in the townhouse when he had arrived.

"I'm making breakfast," she replied simply. Sara ignored his foul mood. It had been a long night, and she assumed he just needed a break. "I thought it might be nice to—"

"No, you know very well that I'm not asking you what you're doing in my kitchen. I'm asking you what you're doing here at all," he stated rather bluntly. His tone was demanding and accusatory.

Sara took a step back from the bar and wiped her hands on a towel. Her mind was reeling, thinking of anything, any reason he had to be angry with her. It had been a long night filled with an even harder case, but it had been solved. Hell, she even admitted to herself that she had actually done a good job.

Finally, after scrutinizing everything from the night and searching his face, she found her voice. "What's wrong?" she asked innocently. The look she received made her shrink back against the stove. Grissom was certainly angry at her for something.

That question drove him over the edge. "How dare you insinuate that you have no idea what I'm talking about. 'What's wrong?' you ask." He waited for a response. Seeing only her eyes narrow and her mouth open just a fraction, he continued, "You sat there in front of the entire team tonight and spoke of love and happiness as if it is a curse... of how you don't believe there really is such a thing... of how life is nothing more than a series of moments stung together—"

"—to make you feel complete – to give you the false belief that life is perfect so you can continue moving through each day," Sara interrupted him. "Yes, I know what I said."

"Why, Sara?"

"_Why_? You're actually asking me that?" Sara shook her head. A nervous giggle escaped her lips. Was he even listening to himself? It was then that Sara realized he really had believed what she had said. The look he had given her at the time actually made sense now. He had not been faking it at all. "Gris..."

She walked around the bar and leaned on the edge of it, staring deep into his eyes. Sara crossed her arms in front of her chest in a slight defensive position. "You expect me to stop being the cynical Sara that everyone is used to, begin reciting love quotes, gush about romance novels and how there is one true love in life and that I've found mine?"

"What are you saying?" His mind was following her logic, but it certainly did not want to believe it. Grissom's resentment had replaced the rational part of his brain.

"I'm saying that I can't stop being the person that I've been for the past six years and expect people not to see it. You and I have had a very strange working relationship to say the least. The team has seen us go from friendly to barely functional to practically non-existent to ending somewhere around semi-functional. If, suddenly, that changes to nearly groping each other at work, you can't tell me people won't take notice."

The hurt in his eyes was melting slowly. He really had believed she had used her chance at work to throw his love back in his face when he could not respond in the least. Somehow, he was finding what she said understandable. Sara had a point, even if he had chosen not to allow himself to see it at first.

He eyed his shoes tossed beside the coffee table. He desperately needed a distraction. His hurt and anger no longer felt justified, and Grissom began to question himself. This is what he most feared – losing himself, not being able to separate the woman he loved from the woman he worked with.

"Grissom, listen to me," Sara pleaded, "If we want to make this work, we're going to have to trust each other implicitly. If we plan to keep it hidden, we're going to have to keep work and home separate. So, between the trust and keeping work and home separate, we're going to have to understand that we can't hold each other accountable for everything we say there."

Sara had purposefully made sure she had been accusatory of him when she spoke. It was obvious to her that Grissom was feeling insecure. The last thing she wanted was to make him more defensive, as if she was threatening him.

Their eyes met across the room. Grissom felt the weight of the world on his shoulders at that moment. He knew Sara saw the insecurity. He wallowed more in his self-conscious feelings knowing that he could not expect her to tiptoe around him constantly. It should be enough for him that she was there with him and had stayed by him through many years of uncertainty.

In his worst times, no matter what personal turmoil she was going through at the time, she had never let him go. She could have just left Vegas and him behind to stew in the mess he had made of his life. Instead, she had chosen the harder road of being with him every day waiting for the moment he made a decision. And, here she was, still waiting on him to move again. He was uncertain that he could ever give her enough – give her what she needed and deserved in life.

It had not been enough to call her to Vegas and leave her never really knowing the reason he had called. It had never been enough for him to keep toying with her emotions for his own selfish desires to have her near him. It had not been enough just to choose her. It was not enough to invite her to leave clothes at his place. I would only ever be enough when he left their future up to her.

His heart was hers to break. He would give her that. He would lay his insecurities down and let her make the next decision. She deserved that. He had called the shots for so long in their sordid relationship. Now, it was her time to plot their course.

"What do you want me to do, Sara?" he asked quietly.

"I want you to trust me," she answered meekly.

"I've told you before that I trust you." He looked away, unable to look into her eyes for fear that she saw the fear in them.

Her eyes remained locked onto him. "What happened today doesn't make me feel trusted. I... I feel like I'm still on the outside. I need you to know that I'm not going anywhere. I haven't gone after all these years. I never gave up. I'm not going anywhere. You have to just trust that I'm not going to hurt you."

"After all these years..."

"Gris, I'm not going to wake up tomorrow and think this isn't where I want to be. I'm going to wake up in your arms and feel the most secure I've ever felt. I'm going to wake up and look into your eyes and know it's all I need."

He looked back up and met her eyes. He watched a lone tear slide down her cheek. "I need to know what you want me to do."

"Love me," she replied simply.

"I do love you." Grissom stood from the couch and crossed the room. He cupped the side of her face as his thumb brushed away the next tear that escaped her eye.

"And, I love you." Sara unfolded her arms and reached for his hand that was on the side of her face.

She pulled his hand in front of her lips and kissed his palm tenderly before wrapping her fingers around it. Grissom tightened his grip on her hand and pulled their intertwined hands to his chest while he reached out with his other hand to pull her against him. Their eyes remained locked on each other until her head rested on his shoulder.

"Where do we go from here?" he murmured into her hair.

"Well, I say we skip breakfast, and you hold me until we fall asleep."

Grissom felt her lips curve into a smile against his neck. Sara's free arm snaked up around his back and hugged him tightly. Their bodies molded together, clinging to each other for support.

"Do you want to tell people about us?" he asked, realizing that their conversation was not yet over.

"Not right now. I'm not ready for the scrutiny, the looks, the remarks, the confrontation, or the repercussions. Let's just enjoy this for a while... just being us, before other people are privy to our personal lives... We'll figure out when the time is right... Or we'll let them figure it out. They _are_ investigators, after all."

* * *

The End

* * *

**A/N - **As always, thank you for reading. And, an advance thank you for reviewing. This took me a while to get written. A lot of work and a little writer's block hit me. Luckily the writer's block was short-lived, but the work is still bogging me down. 


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